I remember before we had kids, people would always say, “Don’t forget to make time for each other, and go on dates.” And I was always like, yea, yea, yea, of course we will.
Fast forward nearly eight years and two children later. Sometimes I feel like my hubby and I are roommates, ships passing in the night. Between work, kids, and real life we rarely carve out time for each other. And honestly, I guess I hadn’t noticed much in all of the chaos that we have gone through the past few years.
When we were in Las Vegas, I noticed how affectionate and in love our friends Tom and Gina are. And man, are they in the trenches! Not only do they have a 4 year old daughter, but also a 6 month old baby. Yet they were constantly smiling at each other and laughing at each others’ jokes.
I made a comment in passing to Gina about that, and she said something to me that I don’t know why, but I had never even thought about. She told me that there is going to come a day when the kids are out of the house, and it will just be us again.
It was like a punch in the gut.
I guess I have such tunnel vision right now, and I couldn’t see the forest from the trees. She was right. Not only do we need to continue to cultivate our relationship as parents, but also as a husband and wife.
So lately we have been making more of an effort to do things as a couple. This ice queen also needs to be more affectionate towards her husband. He has been such a rock for me through all that we’ve been through, and really deserves a prize for putting up with me.
But here’s the catch. By the time we spend a Saturday with the kiddos, get them to bed, then get myself sexified, and go to dinner at 7:00, I’m pooped. Not only that, but by the time dinner ends, and we get home, that cuts into my precious DVR/ sleepy time. So we are now the king and queen of the Day Date!
Here’s how a Day Date works. You hire a sitter to come between 2-3, and you and your spouse catch a movie, do a little shopping, maybe go kayaking, whatever. Then you grab an early bite, say around 6. When you arrive home about 8 the kids should be fed, and hopefully ready for bed. It’s a glorious concept because the sitter wears them out, and does all of the dirty work of feeding them and getting them ready for bed. You swoop in, kiss the little monkeys good night, and you still have time to cozy up in bed, fire up the DVR, and still get a good night’s sleep.
Or you could do what we did the other day. We were so wiped out we actually had the sitter come over, left and picked up some tasty take out, then texted the sitter to take the kids out back to play while we snuck back into our bedroom and binge watched House of Cards for 3 hours. MUAHHHHHHH!
It was glorious, they were so confused when we came downstairs at 8.
You’re Welcome!
Until next time,
Betsy
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